


Do You Hear That Sound

by BakerStTardis (Sokashi)



Series: Hobbit Advent [9]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 05:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokashi/pseuds/BakerStTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Nine of the Hobbit Advent. Prompt Carols</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Hear That Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Very quickly written and thrown up. Hopefully will have time to fix mistakes later.

Bilbo slipped onto his favorite balcony. It overlooked the great space inside Erebor where stairs and halls and bridges wandered in dozens of directions and the roof rose so high it was almost lost in darkness. For as huge and hollow and made of stone as it was, it felt warm and welcoming and was oh, so very beautiful. He'd found the balcony one of his first days back to Erebor and found himself visiting it more and more. It was always empty, but surrounded by life. Bilbo sighed a little, arms curling around himself as he tucked himself down out of the way and stared absently at the dwarves moving below him.

He was glad he came back. Seeing Erebor like this, full of dwarves and life again, he hadn't even dreamed what it would be like.Seeing his friends, having them nearby again. They were his family now, more so than anyone he'd left back in the Shire and yet... Bilbo ran and hand over his face, feeling uncomfortable and melancholy. He told himself it was because it was Yule, because things were done differently in the mountain, because dwarves were creatures of their own traditions and holidays and he was just missing his own. It was more than that, though. It was Thorin. Technically it was him and Thorin. Oh, the king had apologized before Bilbo had even left the first time and Bilbo had forgiven him. Hadn't he? He thought he'd forgiven him but things weren't...right. He and Thorin fought and snipped and when they weren't doing that it was awkward silences and cautious glances. It was tense and uncomfortable and nothing at all like before. And Bilbo missed him. His friend. He didn't know how to fix it. If they should fix it. Maybe he should just go back to the Shire.

That was what had driven him out to the balcony. He'd made the mistake of hinting at that to Fili and Kili. That after Yuletide and winter, when the roads cleared, that he should leave again. It had been said without thought, in a burst of angry frustration, but the hurt and horror on their faces... Bilbo buried his face in his arms and resisted the urge to groan. It had been horrible. He'd apologized and tried to sooth their worries, but he knew he hadn't succeeded. What should he do? Hunt them down and interrupt their day to apologize again? No, foolish. Maybe make them something. A special pie? But then everyone would want to know why, what happened.

Down below dwarves passed him with decorations and a group were working together to the far left of him to string up great green boughs on the pillars. Bells chimed from somewhere above him, a light twinkling of sound that spilled down into the mountain. All around he was surrounded by dwarves full of laughter and good cheer and none of it touched him. Sighing again, Bilbo started to stand and leave when he heard it. It came from somewhere below, deep and far away from the sound of it. Just a murmur that turned to words as it spread, low and echoing, voices-one after another-picking up the tune, filling every hall and mine and room until it echoed through the mountain, surrounding Bilbo. Then the entire mountain was singing, words reverberating and harmonizing through the halls as Bilbo froze. He should've expected it, really, that nothing could compare to the way dwarves would sing a simple carol. After all it was by song that they'd coaxed him from his home so long ago. That haunting tune that wooed him away to far away lands and unknown adventure. This was like the land itself opening up and rejoicing. The voices rang and filled all spaces, hung in the air like the tone of great bells or horns. Pure and deep and ancient. It sounded so big, bigger than Bilbo was or could ever be. It was flowing over him, into him, filling him up until his eyes were tearing and he just couldn't care because it was so very beautiful.

The song ended and Bilbo felt a moment of panic in the resounding silence, but then it happened again. From above this time, pouring down over him, spreading beneath his feet as the dwarves below him picked it up. Bilbo forgot everything as he listened. He had no idea how long he stood there, how many carols they sang. He just listened and tried to breath and sometimes laughed aloud because he couldn't hold it in. Then one voice grew above the rest, the voice deep and familiar and close. Bilbo turned to find Thorin standing behind him singing, his face as solemn and dark. Neither of them moved until the last strands of the song fell from Thorin's lips, then they stared at each other in silence.

Bilbo looked away first, hurriedly wiping his face of tears. Thorin moved closer and when he spoke his voice was low, just loud enough to be heard over the bright, happy carol that had started next. "Why do you cry?"

Bilbo sniffed in annoyance. He would've preferred that Thorin pretended not to notice that. "Because its beautiful." He answered truthfully, bluntly. It came out more sharply than he intended and he felt Thorin react to that, stiffen beside him. It made Bilbo want to curse.

Awkward silence fell again, even the carol around them didn't help. Bilbo fidgeted, tried to think of a way to apologize for his snappiness, but Thorin spoke before he could. "Fili and Kili spoke to me." The words fell like stones between them. It felt like something was shattering and Bilbo teared up again because he didn't know how to stop it.

"I was just trying to figure out how to apologize to them. I didn't mean to hurt their feelings-"

"I don't care about their feelings!" Thorin snapped. "And I didn't seek you out to make you apologize to my nephews!" He stopped abruptly and Bilbo wondered if he hadn't meant to say that, or at least not in that way, because he made a frustrated noise and grasped the bannister with both hands, knuckles white with his grip. "I came to TALK to you, Bilbo. Not fight." He said harshly.

"Well, you're not doing a very good job." The words were out and hitting Thorin before Bilbo realized he was the one saying them. Thorin stared at him in shock, eyes wide and angry and, yes, hurt. At least before he straightened and gave Bilbo that look. The one he hadn't seen since he'd first met Thorin in Bag End. Or maybe it was worse. Maybe it was closer to the one Thorin had given him before the battle. The one that still popped up in Bilbo's nightmares sometimes and woke him crying from the heartbreak of it all.

Thorin strode closer and Bilbo pressed back into the bannister under the force of his glare. "Why did you come here if you only wanted to make me miserable?" He bellowed. "You could have stayed in your home! We would have left you alone! I know I deserve whatever you want in repayment for how I treated you, but I did not think you this cruel!"

"Cruel?" Bilbo was reeling under the words, heart full of their shards. He let his anger burn up, because it was easy and it hurt less and he shoved at Thorin's massive chest, frustrated when it only made him rock back slightly. "CRUEL? You are the last person to accuse another of cruelty, Thorin Oakenshield! Do you have any idea of what you've put me through?"

"I apologized! I begged your forgiveness!"

"You thought you were dying!" Bilbo argued.

"And you left before you could see if it happened!" Thorin accused.

Bilbo made a frustrated scream that barely cut through the booming carol being sung now. "Well forgive me if I didn't want to sit around a battle I tried EVERYTHING to prevent to wait and watch my FORMER friends DIE!"

The last three words echoed ominously in the sudden quiet in the mountain after the last carol finished. Bilbo looked away, he didn't know how he felt, really. Just- upset and alone and hurt. He didn't want to look at Thorin's face and add to that. Thorin shoved away from him, violently enough it made Bilbo flinch from the suddenness. He strode to the other side of the balcony, a few steps separating them now. Then he turned and glared at Bilbo. "Former friends." He spat and smirked angrily. "I see." He straightened and looked down his long nose at Bilbo. "You are welcome here, Bilbo Baggins. You will never be banished or forbidden again. Just figure out if you actually WANT to be here before you stay." And started to stride past Bilbo, brushing him aside but paused as Bilbo stumbled. Bilbo thought for a second he looked...regretful or sad, maybe that he was going say something else, but instead he just snarled and vanished into the hall.

Bilbo just stood there, wanting to cry, not knowing what to say or do. The dwarves nearby were determinedly NOT looking at him, but- it had been a very public argument. How much had echoed after the carols? How many had heard him talk to king in such away? Heard Thorin dismiss him so heartily? Bilbo wiped his face again, only then realizing tat he'd been crying. The balcony wasn't a refuge anymore. Quietly, he slipped off of it and headed the opposite way Thorin had gone, hoping he could make it to his rooms before anyone stopped him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And this is a part one. The second part tomorrow.


End file.
